"What's missing from pop music is danger" | Prince

5 Reasons Why Axl Rose should NOT join AC/DC

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1) US vs UK. 

There’s just some things best left to each other. Brits do Tea, USA does Coffee.
It’s not being discriminatory. Everyone knows it to be true. The UK have tried to do modern sketch shows like SNL and it’s never worked, just like the US have tried to cover English gems such as The Office, Skins… need I mention their version of Fawlty Towers? If Russell Brand’s radio talk didn’t kill Sachs with shock, this just might. Same for music. It’s best to leave some things alone. 

Having the epitome of a typical American rock star join a band of insanely talented men who look like they’ve just strolled out of their local, isn’t REALLY the best mix… 

 

2) Leave your Egos at the door. 

Running off the same vein- egocentric Axl is hardly fitting with the boys’ aesthetic. Do you really think Johnson would have requested square melon as a backstage treat? Fuck no! A packet of pork scratchings and a pale ale will do nicely, me ‘thinks. 

 

3) Whose a good Toy Boy?  

There’s no point polishing all your pennies- sometimes the dirty look is best, especially in the rock and roll sense. In fact, people make a conscious effort to get the rustic look. There’s just something odd about a
slightly newer model joining. An outsider. Adam Lambert is a prime example.

Regardless of the small age gap- Axll gives off a fresher vibe. A young man dressed as an ageing rock star, whereas the boys are old men dressed as school kids. Doesn’t quite blend it, does it? 

 

4) Too Much Blonde!

Brian balanced this out with his luscious brunette locks. It’s a known fact that 3 blondes 1 brunette is a band made in heaven. Perfectly balanced. Sort it out, lads. 

Or, alternatively, at least dye what’s left of the hair-metal-do.  White Snake, Def Leppard… AC/DC. Follow the trend. 

 

5) AC/DC- It is what it is… 

Classic ol’ bands love to jump on the band wagon. Some can do it (Rolling Stones) some can’t *cough* Black Sabbath. 

Juice themselves until nothing but a can of hairspray and a studded boot is left. Sell their soul to the road and record. Touring the world when they struggle to get off the couch. 

Slash left Guns n’ Roses and look at him shine. He’s looked upon as a modern rock god, no age on his face, body or most importantly, music! He doesn’t cling onto established bands and squeeze himself into the limelight. He’s built his own solo career and picks young fresh faces to help himself and THEMSELVES on the journey.

Axl Rose is the guy at the party that hears your hilarious come-back to someone’s comment and repeats it LOUDER for all to hear. Claiming credit, eating the applause like a delicious dairy treat.  

What will the Axl / ACDC gig be? Well, firstly to purchase said ticket one must take out a loan, as I’m sure the prices will be exorbitant. Once you’re there, and have waited the 3 hours for Rose to tie his laces; you’re watching 3 unhappy ageing rock stars and a little fat man with a scarf round his head singing songs he didn’t write to a crowd that’s far too easy to please. 
Who ate all the pies? Three guesses. 

Zeppelin died a while back, but is the respect still there? By god it is. Get it together, or leave it alone. I’d advice just remastering the back catalogue before you get pricked by the rose.

 

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